Its understanble that the average Japanese citizen( at least in the big cities ) are unhappy. We touched on this before in part with the long work hours & that the company/country comes first. It also doesn't help that some marry purely for financial/survival reasons & not for love. Your countrymen/women have so little free time & deal with so many people all day its no surprise they just want to be left alone at the end of the day or relief stress with friends. There have been psychological studies that people in high dense populated areas lose some of thier humanity and become selfish, pent up anger or depression, stressed out, uncompassionate, indifferent to the suffering of others. This same study found just the opposite with people in small towns.
I understand the pain you have/are gone/going through. I went through 21 years of depression & depair having failed time & time again not being able to find a women who could love me for who & what I am. Just a simply nice guy. The dreams I had were that of a wife & daughter of my own. I believe it took a toll on my health in which failed me in 2007. My work attendance suffered to the point I lost a great job & benefits. And now struggling just to stay employed let alone come anywhere close to what I had.
Anyway I finaly had to let go of those dreams in order to survive. Reguardless of how God did it shim healed my soul. So despite feeling I had nothing to offer, nothing more to give ( burned out ), sacrificed & suffered so much surely God would have mercy & take me from this earth. Finaly, finaly I would be able to serve then. Knowing beyond all reasonable doubt that I would be doing what, where & how God wanted me to serve. However no matter how much pain I was in, I still awoke the next day. If God went through the trouble to heal me then thier must be something worth saving, something I have yet to do. It can be so frustrating when God knows you have faith & believe, but will not directly tell you the who,what,why & how.
Before I can care for others I must be able to care for myself. I spent two years being unemployed and no matter what I did no one would give me a chance. My efforts to get back into my old line of work failed not once, but twice when the same position was up the following year. For awhile I thought perhaps I'm here just to look after my mother & maybe after she left this earth I'd not be far behind living with partially controlled Diabetes. Still struggling to stay employed since my skills don't transfer well in the civilian world ( 17 yrs of Aircraft Avionics Maintianence ). I had a job recently for 6 weeks that I could do just fine, but to slow for thier needs. I always felt that if I did my best God would do the rest. I did so & now another chance awaits this Wednesday.
No matter the struggle my faith is what has saved me. I simply will not give up on God & shim has returned that sentiment. I understand that God treats all of shims children equally thus therefore can't directly intervene. Or as the saying goes Gods helps those that help themselves. I think of it as meeting shim halfway.
I had been looking for a means to give back & seek that community you mentioned. Maybe after, if I can keep this new job, I'll look into it. I'll never be happy in my life, but for as long as I can serve God in my own way I'll be content.
*Oh afterwards I remembered an old saying of mine. "What is this life compared to eternal life? Nothing, but an old faded memory". Thus I'm not worried about the struggle(s) ahead.
Note: Shim = Meaning neither male or female for I don't believe God has a gender.
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An excellent post. Inspiring, really.
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